I should tell you
by classicalwolf
Summary: Mark finally admits his love of Roger this was a RP between me as Mark and my friend Ana as Roger but we decided to turn it into a scripted fic.
1. No Regrets

Roger: ((shuffles toward the kitchen, his eyes barely open, banging his hip on the corner of the table and pausing just long enough to glare at it)) Goddamnmutherfucking ((mumblemumble))... 

Mark: ((looks up from the newspaper at Roger's grumbling)) Should I move it?

R: It'd just jump out at me from somewhere else tomorrow. Fuckin' thing hates me. ((looks at Mark, suddenly hopeful)) Coffee?

M: ((motions with his finger towards the pot on the counter)) Almost done brewing...made it pretty strong...

R: ((smiles a little and rubs his eyes)) My friend. My brother. My... wonderful... coffee-making... person... Yeah. ((yawns))

M: ((pulls out a chair and smiles meekly at Roger, before grabbing a chipped mug from the cabinet))(( I try...atleast you appreciate it...

R: ((nods)) I appreciate anything that means I don't have to brew m'own damn coffee. Besides, you can make it strong without it tasting like motor oil. Better'n me.

M: ((laughs)) They've accepted my new strong coffee down at the Life...actually got a thank you out of Maureen for it. More than she usually says though...Joanne and I had to patch her system again!

R: Again? ((frowns at him))

M: ((scoffs, dismissing it with a wave of his hand)) It's Maureen. What else is there to expect?

R: And it's you. Which means you'll always say yes.

M: ((blushes, lowering his eyes)) I still swoon when she walks through the door...but the fact that she's roped Joanne into being a slave to her every need is atrocious... ((his eyes trailing off to a sight in the distance))

R: Yeah. Now you know what we felt like when it happened to you. You're too good for that bullshit.

M: sighs Maureen has Joanne...Angel had Collins...you...well...had Mimi...I'm always alone...only with my camera...

R: ((blinks, aware that this is somehow turning into a serious conversation)) Mark... ((sighs)) You know, if you put that camera down sometime, people might actually become aware of the fact that you have a personality.

M: ((sighs as well, only half meeting Roger's gaze)) Sorry...I HAVE a personality...behind my camera...Fuck - no I don't...I have a camera...and I'm just the man behind it...I broke away once...dancing at the Life...on the tables...You said you liked it...

R: Yeah. ((smiles, remembering it)) Benny needs to piss you off more often, if that's what happens.

M: ((laughs, looking over at Roger, not used to seeing him smile)) You're smiling again. Because of me. Err...something I did ((covering quickly))

R: Happens sometimes. ((sighs)) That was a good Christmas.

M: You were in love. It was a good Christmas.

R: Yeah. ((sobers suddenly)) I was.

M: ((suddenly noticing the change in his roommate, Mark gets up from his chair and places one hand on the guitarist's shoulder)). In a way, we all were... that was Angel's doing

R: Yeah. ((looks over at him)) Anyway, my point was, you're better than this shit.

M: ((nods)) I know, but I always fall into it time and time again. No one's ever been there to keep me afloat, above it all.

R: Yeah, because you're too busy playing life preserver to the rest of us poor bastards. ((looks over at the coffee pot and grabs a mug, and a handful of stolen sugar packets))

M: ((raises the chipped mug he'd gotten for Roger)) Sorry, I'm only trying to help...but in the end I'm hurting myself

R: ((rolls his eyes)) So stop. The world won't end if you decide to be selfish for once.

M: ((nods, blushing a bit)) I should try...to express myself more...

R: ((pours himself a mug of coffee, breathing in the steam for a moment before responding)) Do, or do not. There is no try. ((waggles his eyebrows at Mark))

M: ((blushes more)) But the one I want...I'll wait forever for...

R: Maureen? You know that cause is lost, right? "Oh, Mark, you're such a great friend!" ... And you deserve better than her, anyway.

M: She wasn't who I meant Rog ((he mumbles, blankly scanning the newspaper in front of him))

R: ((sets his coffee down and moves behind Mark to lean over his shoulder)) Something you haven't been telling me?

M: ((blushes)) I...er...no...no no...you wouldn't...I mean they...they wouldn't...

R: ((blinks)) Wait... waitwaitwait. I wouldn't...?

M: ((whines softly)) Just forget I said anything! Please! ((he gets up, pushing past Roger and heads to his bedroom, flouncing on the bed and curling up into a ball - muffled cries can be heard))

R: ...Mark... ((follows as far as the bedroom door, pausing for a moment and taking a deep breath, then heading into the bedroom)) Mark. I'm sorry, I didn't know.

M: ((raises his head to look at Roger, his cheeks stained with tears)) You wouldn't have. I-It doesn't matter anyway ((starting to cry again)) You don't want...me. ((now sobbing))

R: ((instinctively goes to comfort Mark, feeling strange at this sudden role reversal, where Mark's not the one comforting him)) It's okay, it's okay... ((he leans over and pets Mark's shouders tentatively))

M: ((shudders and cries, leaning into Roger, the smell of Roger's aftershave wafting in his direction. He snuggles in closer, leaning now akwardly on the bed, but not caring. Roger's touches feel comforting, it's a nice change since he's usually the one doing the comforting))

R: (())pulls away from Mark just long enough to sit on the bed, and oulls him into his arms, stroking his back))

M: Thanks ((he says, a slight smile on his face, looking up at Roger))

R: You've done as much for me. ((is silent for a moment, deep in thought)) I'd tell you all this shit about how I'm the last person in the world you want to wait for, and how you deserve someone who's not... starts to say "dying", and decided against it ...sick... but you wouldn't listen, would you?

M: ((sighs)) I can't help who I ((wispers))...love. I've gotta take chances. This could be considered a risk, because you're "sick", but I need to do it. I needed to tell you - for me. I can't have regrets. Not anymore. No day but today. Angel taught us that.

R: ... Never thought you'd be one to scare the shit out of me like this... ((pulls Mark closer, so Mark's head is on his shoulder)) Fuck, I don't know anything anymore...

M: I didn't mean to scare you...but it's the truth, and I've never been more sure of anything... ((nuzzles Roger's shoulder))

R: ((whispers)) You know me. I'm scared of anything involving emotions. ((sounds just a little bitter about this))

M: ((nods)) I'm the one who detatches...not you ((kisses Roger's cheeck)) I'm scared too...I didn't think I...went this way...but I want this...you...I...you...I love you.

R: I've loved you for a long time, in that "friends" kind of way... And don't start crying agian, because I swear, this isn't the friends speech, okay?

M: ((nods, listens, but is getting quite a grab on Roger's shirt))

R: ((tries to be calm and rational, and not think about how good Mark feels in his arms, and why he didn't notice that before)) If this is anything, it's the "I don't know what the hell I'm doing" speech. I mean, my experience with guys is limited to... well, uh... Let's just say it's limited. All I know right know is I don't want to see you cry like that because of me. Ever.

M: ((nods, snuggling in more, not wanting to push Roger into something he's not ready for or doesn't want))

R: ((hesitates a moment, then kisses the top of Mark's head))

M: ((smiles and nuzzles Roger's neck))

R: Mmmm... This is... Okay, weird. This is weird. But nice. ((strokes down Mark's back))

M: ((smiles again, leaning in more and starts singly softly "Who do you think you are - barging in on me and my guitar?"))

R:((chuckles)) Hey, the guitar and I have a special bond. Our love is pure, and good, and if you want me, you've gotta share me with her.

M: ((leaps up and grabs the guitar, snuggling it in Roger's lap, before snuggling Roger again, grinning)) Done!

R: ((wraps an arm around Mark)) And I'll try and not get too jealous of your camera. ((pauses, then raises an eyebrow)) Do you actually fondle it in the middle of the night? I've always wondered.

M: ((smirks with a raised eyebrow)) Only when thinking of you, baby!

R: ((laughs and pulls Mark closer)) I haven't seen you this cheerful in a while... ((He feels guilty suddenly, for spending so much time in his own angst)) ...I was really clueless, huh?

M: ((smirks again, blushing)) Yes. But it's ok. Because now we're happy.

R: ((considers this for a moment, but somehow can't bring himself to argue, with Mark snuggled against him being warm and soft and nice))...I guess we are.

M: La Vie Boheme ((he wispers before kissing Roger gently on the lips))

R: ((stiffens a bit, then surprises himself by kissing back, pulling away long enough to whisper against Mark's lips)) To love...


	2. Please?

The next day 

M: ((flops down, slinging the camera bag over a nearby chair))

R: ((looks up from his guitar and mumbles a greeting))

M: ((fumbles randomly with his fingers)) What were you working on?

R: ((strums a few chords expreimentally and growls)) Crap. That's what I'm working on. ((strums again, a discordant, painful sound)) ...Crap.

M: ((nods and looks at you, captivated at how hard you're working)) It's not crap, Rog...

R: It is. ((hums a little under his breath and then goes back to the guitar, trying to get the melody out properly))

M: ((sighs, randomly tinkering with his camera))

R: How's the filming?

M: Crap. Nothing good. All the same shit. ((holds the camera so the lens is towards him)) Close up on Mark...with nothing.

R: ((sighs and puts the guitar down)) Why did we decide to do this shit again?

M: ((blinks, looking up)) What shit?

R: This starving artist shit. We could be happy, mindless workplace drones right now. With money. And food.

M: Because it's our life. We crave it. Even though it hurts us more than helps us.

R: But just think of it. Eating regularly. Having money to go see movies. Trading stories over the watercooler at the office. 401k. Overpriced gourmet coffee. A Range Rover. Television. Regular work hours. Power ties. Company retreats. ...God, that's depressing. Starving it is.

M: ((grins)) But we'd be starving if we had nothing going for us. We have the loft...and Collins, with his stash of Stoli and MIT connections, Benny with his drama, Maureen with her lfe, Joanne with legal connections and Angel with love. ((whispers softly)) And we'll always have each other.

R: Um... yeah.

M: ((drops his gaze and fidgets with his fingers again))

R: ((sighs and looks down))

M: It's always something I say...

R: Damnit, Mark, just get over here. ((holds out a hand))

M: ((accepts your hand, eyes wide))

R: ((pulls Mark into his lap and wraps his arms around him, murmuring into his shoulder)) This is weird, okay? One day we're just friends, and now... It's weird.

M: ((smiles meekly, nuzzling up at Roger)) We're weird...it's ok...

R: It shouldn't be this fucking... easy.

M: Let it be easy. Let something come easy for once. Enjoy it. Please?

R: ((sigh)) I guess. Just... Remember all those times I kept swearing I wasn't gay?

M: ((nods)) Mmmhmmm...

R: So. It's one thing to maintain you're not gay when... ((mumbles)) okay, there were some guys back when the Hungarians were playing that really wanted to ... show their appreciation. But blowjobs don't count anyway. My point is, total redefinition of sexual orientation happening, in that I seem to be totally okay with the fact that my best friend's in love with me.

M: ((blushes, mumbling something that ends in "...for me"))

R: Hey, what?

M: ((blushes)) That's more than enough for me...

R: Well it shouldn't be. For fuck's sake, Mark... You deserve... Probably more than I could ever give you, okay?

M: No Rog...I want you...I've wanted you forever...you're my reach...but I've finally got you...

R: ((sighs and pulls Mark closer))

M: ((smiles warmly and goes to Roger's embrace))

R: ((runs his fingers through Mark's hair))

M: ((moans softly, greatful for the touches, gripping gently at Roger's jacket)) Rog...

R: ((his breath catches at the sounds Mark's making)) ...I know "sexy rock god" is part of my job description, but I didn't think I was that good...

M: ((blushes and smirks)) The fact that you haven't run out the door and we've gotten this far is good.

R: Kind of hard to bolt for the door with a Mark in my lap.

M: ((smiles weakly)) Oh yeah...

R: ...You'd better stay here. Just in case I get the urge to run. ((still playing with Mark's hair))

M: ((nods, leaning his head against Roger's hand))

R: ((moves his hand to the back of Mark's neck, pulling him in for a kiss, then hesitates))

M: ((notes Roger's hesitation but captures his lips gently, lacing his arms around Roger's neck))

R: ((finds himself leaning into Mark, deepening the kiss))

M: ((moans and presses into Roger, kissing deeper, gently gripping Roger's hair))

R: ((wraps his arms around Mark's waist again, his hands sliding under the back of Mark's shirt, seeking skin)) mmm... ((nibbles at Mark's bottom lip))

M: ((moans and leans back, snaking his own shirt up, reeling at the feeling of Roger biting his lip))

R: ((leans forward and kisses Mark again briefly, his hands exploring Mark's back)) ... Okay. I could get used to this "suddenly gay" thing...

M: ((giggles)) You could be bi... ((leaning foward to let Roger explore))

R: But see, bi... ((traces Mark's spine with his fingertips)) ...still makes me half gay.

M: ((shudders and moans softly)) Yes...

R: ((leans in to kiss him))

M: ((kisses Roger back, tracing his chest through the leather jacket))

R: ((pulls away, not quite panting)) ...You feel too fucking good...

M: ((smirks and kisses Roger deeper, now stroking his chest after tossing his jacket asside))

R: For someone who was content with me accepting that you loved me... ((moves his hands down to Mark's hips and grinds up against him a little)) ...you seem bent on tempting me into doing very bad things to you on the couch out here.

M: I'll accept as much as you give me ((pushes up against Roger hard as he kisses him hungrily, before getting up and moving into the bedroom, looking back at Roger with a smirk.))

R: ((just stayes there for a moment, trying to get his breathing under control, wondering if this is really what he wants, and wishing Mark didn't look so damned fuckable smirking at him like that))

M: ((grins, watching Roger ponder what just took place)) You coming, Rog? ((smirking again))

R: ... ((gets up and follows him))

M: ((lays on his side on the bed, still smirking and looks semi-expectantly at Roger)) Come here - lover boy! ((Mark purrs))

R: "Lover boy?" ((eyebrows)) Did reality somehow shift and throw me into a surreal gay porno? ((teasing grin))

M: I would hope there would be "porn" tonight. ((Mark blushes and smirks, before getting up and grabbing a hold of Roger's shirt and with one yank, pulls him onto the bed))

R: ((squeaks in surprise, and then really hopes Mark didn't hear him squeak))

M: Cute squeak Rog...really... ((trails his fingers all over Roger's chest))

R: I did not -- ((gasps)) -- squeak!

M: Yes you did ((Mark insists, before gently twisting one of Roger's nipples)) I heard you. And that means I have some kind of an effect on you.

R: ((moans)) That... ((tries to glare at Mark, which is difficult, considering what he's doing)) ...was not a squeak. Roger Davis does not SQUEAK ((moans again and pulls Mark's hips against his)) That was... a noise of surprise. A very manly noise of surprise. Not a squeak.

M: ((Mark moans in response and moves his hips teasingly against Rogers from a mounting position)) Mm...manly...I am of course, fucking a rock star!

R: And don't you dare forget it. ((pulls Mark down and kisses him hungrily))

M: ((whimpers and kisses Roger back with more passion than he ever thought possible)) You're a god...

R: ((smirks and arches up into Mark, content for now to let him take the lead)) You know it, babe.

M: ((blushes, letting the tips of his ears turn red as Mark places his hand against the bulge in Roger's jeans as he strokes him)) But what am I?

R: ((closes his eyes and moans deep in his throat at the feel of Mark's hand on him, then opens them to stare into Mark's, thinking "Oh, what the hell...")) ...You're MINE. ((almost growls the words out)) Any other questions?

M: ((Mark grins at Roger's words but is more turned on by the growl and ferocity in Roger's voice)) Yes...one question...what's your biggest fantasy?

R: My biggest fantasy... You don't want to hear about that, trust me.

M: ((continues stroking then presses him hard with his hand)) Tell me!

R: ((groans)) No. Settle for second biggest, because that's all you're getting.

M: ((grins)) Forget it...I'll just torture you...and make you squirm...

R: You sound way too sure of yourself. ((grabs Mark's hips and flips them both over so he's on top)) Who's gonna torture who, now? ((leans down and kisses him grinding their erections together))

M: ((bucks hard against Roger...biting his own lip to keep from screaming at the pleasure)) Rog...

R: ((holds onto Mark's hips and works his way down his body, kissing and nibbling at the smooth expanse of his stomach, then teasingly licking right above the waistband of his pants))

M: ((squeezes his eyes tight and grabs at the nearest thing, which happens to be Roger's shirt, trying to inch his hips so Roger's tounge happens to slip into the waistband of his pants))

R: ((releases his hold on Mark's hips and slowly unzips his pants))

M: ((watches as Roger undoes the zipper on his pants, smelling the strong mix of sweat and cologne on his skin. Once Roger undoes the zipper, Mark grabs at his hands, his eyes big, pleading, but unable to form the words. He only thinks to utter one word that hopefully can complete the sentance he desired at that moment.)) Slow?

R: Is that a request, or an objection?

M: R-request ((Mark squeaks out, his eyes locked on Roger's))

R: ((wonders a bit at Mark's sudden shyness, but nods, only pushing Mark's pants down far enough to nibble on the sharp rises of his hipbones))

M: ((hisses hotly at Roger's bitting, spreading his legs a bit))

R: ((licks along his hipbones, then lets his tongue trail close to the bulge in Mark's underwear, dipping under the waistband but not quite touching it))

M: ((moans loudly, arching his hips up, wanting Roger even closer))

R: ((takes hold of his underwear as if he's going to pull it down, but only brushes his thumb along Mark's erection))

M: ((Mark practically spazzes at this gesture, barely audibly muttering)) Rog...

R: ((pulls Mark's underwear down just enough to free his erection, barely brushing his lips against the head))

M: ((instinctively pushes his hips up, needing more...craving Roger))

R: ((runs the tip of his tongue up the shaft, flicking at the head softly, then leans back)) I can tease too, you know. ((smirks))

M: ((Mark bunches up the sheets in his hands, his knuckes white, brow furrowed, whimpering)) Not fair!

R: ((moves up again, pressing his body against Mark's, whispering against his lips)) Who said anything about this being fair? ((kisses him, sucking Mark's bottom lip into his mouth))

M: ((spazzes again, feeling himself get even harder)) Roger!

R: Yes? ((looks down at him, wide-eyed and innocent))

M: I want you...now! ((grabs at Roger's shirt again))

R: Now, what happened to going slow?

M: You! ((shy smile))

R: ((mischevious grin)) Hey, I was the one having issues, until someone... ((moves his hips slightly, brushing his clothed erection against Mark's)) ...decided to pull me onto the bed and have his way with me...

M: ((sputters)) I...you... ((leaks some pre-cum onto Roger's clothed cock))

R: ((looks down at him, suddenly serious)) Do we even have condoms?

M: ((goes into a side-table drawer and pulls out a few)) I slipped these in here the other day.

R: Lube? ((not too sure about how to go about this whole "sex with guys" thing, but is pretty sure lube's a requirement))

M: ((fishes it out and throws it towards Roger)) I want to see you as we're doing this. I need to know it's me.

R: ((catches it, and looks down at Mark, trying not to look as nervous as he feels))

M: ((gets up and stands next to Mark, nuzzling his shoulder)) It's ok. I...I can do it...if you want...I always loved to take your...male virginity...

R: ((strokes his face)) I just... don't want to hurt you. I've never...

M: It's up to you babe... ((kissing Rog gently on the lips))

R: ((shrugs and mumbles)) Well, I sure as hell don't know what I'm doing...

M: ((nods, kissing him again lightly)) Then allow me?

R: ((swallows and nods))

M: ((moves over Roger, kissing him gently on the lips, pinning him to the bed, before pulling off Roger's shirt))

R: ((looks up at him, licking his lips nervously, wondering why the hell he agreed to this, but strangely excited by the thought of Mark doing this to him))

M: ((strips out of his clothes and schucks off Roger's pants and boxers, before stroking Roger confidently))

R: ((moans and bucks up into Mark's hand))

M: ((smiles warmly and meets Roger's gaze)) I just want to make sure you're ready...I want this to be enjoyable...

R: I don't know if I can be ready for this... I just want you...

M: ((murmurs)) Then I'll get you as ready as I can - just relax... ((slips a condom on his finger and coats it with lube before gently pressing against Roger))

R: ((tenses, and tries to make himself relax))

M: ((kisses Roger gently as he works a finger inside slowly, stretching Roger just a little bit))

R: ((tenses again and whimpers a little as Mark's finger slides into him))

M: Relax Rog... ((working the finger a little more))

R: ((through gritted teeth)) Trying... ((makes a strangled noise as Mark's finger hits someplace reeeeally nice))

M: ((grins)) That's your prostate babe... ((scissors the one finger out a little))

R: ((forces words out between gasps, writhing and wiggling his hips to try and get Mark to do that again)) Great! Good to know! More. Please. NOW.

M: More? ((smirk))

R: ((nods)) Fuck, yes.

M: ((adds another condom finger gently, spreading Roger's legs a little more))

R: ((winces slightly, but forces himself to relax, eager for Mark to hit his prostate again))

M: ((begins to move his fingers in and out, hitting Roger's prostate again))

R: ((moans loudly, spreading his legs wider and rocking his hips into Mark's fingers)) Fuck, Mark...

M: ((moans at Roger's words)) Do you want me now?

R: ((looks into Mark's eyes)) Oh hell yeah.

M: ((nods, keeping his two fingers inside)) This may sound crazy...but I'm doing this so I don't hurt you...I want you to push down for me...so I can see how stretched you are...

R: ((privately thinks that nothing can sound crazy considering that he, Roger Fucking Davis, is BOTTOMING for his best friend, but just nods and pushes))

M: ((smiles)) Good. I think you're ready...

R: Then FUCK ME already. ((growling again))

M: ((puts on a condom and makes it slick with lube, before moving over Roger, pressing his cock at Roger's entrance and slowly sliding it in))

R: ((groans as he feels Mark filling him, then grabs Mark's shoulders and pulls him closer))

M: ((kisses Roger hotly, feeling how tight Roger is and how hard he is inside him, grinning to himself before pulling out and pushing back in hard))

R: ((moans into Mark's mouth, the friction of Mark's cock against his prostate combined with the roughness of the thrust leaving him unable to tell if what he's feeling is pleasure or pain))

M: ((kisses Roger deeper, giving some time to adjust by moving with longer strokes so Roger can feel every inch))

R: ((rocks his hips, clutching at Mark's back)) ...God ... FUCK ...

M: Currently in progress. ((smirking, before thrusting in even harder, riding Roger as hard and as fast as possible, so fucking close))

R: ((finally comes, jerking his hips and clutching Mark's back hard enough to leave bruises, crying out Mark's name))

M: ((comes with Roger, pushing in hard as he does so, crying out Roger's name as well))

R: ((wraps his arms around Mark, nuzzling him)) ...Jesus.

M: So that's who I am? ((giggling, snuggling into Roger))

R: Well, he was Jewish...

M: ((sighs, and whispers)) I love you...

R: Mmm... I love you, too. ((realizes as he says it that he really does mean it)) ... ((sighs and looks up, narrating to the ceiling)) Dear diary: Today I had a crisis about my sexuality. And yet somehow, I still ended up losing my ass-cherry to my best-friend-slash-boyfriend, or whatever the hell he is. This just proof that I'm unable to think straight when my dick is hard. More confusion will probably follow. ((pauses for a moment, and continues, grinning)) It was the BEST DAY EVER.


End file.
